Presenting...

Sebastian Richard

Born Monday, October 24th, 2011

Name Stats:
-"Sebastian" means venerable or revered. We did not choose it based on the meaning though; we like older, established but still unusual names that age well and have various nickname possibilities. "Sebastian" translates well all across the western world and is fairly common in Europe and Latin America. It's experiencing a mini revival in the United States (it's in the top 100 for boy names) but will likely never be quite common.
-"Richard" is after his paternal grandfather. Our firstborn has her dad's middle name, and now our second has his dad's dad's name.
-Nicknames- we named Sebastian "Sebastian" with the intent on calling him "Bash" for short. We are not fond of the traditional European nickname of "Sebi," and figured whereas "Sebastian" is quite distinguished, there's not too many names more manly and blunt than "Bash." Thus, he has options!
-Initials: SRB- no problems there

Names on my Radar

It's been a little while since the last post. I blame the little soon-coming human, whom I'll have the pleasure of naming on MONDAY! I tell you, there's nothing as thrilling as giving a real, live name to your own little real, live person! Such a privilege! In the meantime, here are some random names that have held my attention lately:

- Minor prophet names: Whereas OT names in general are pretty popular right now, even among the non-churchgoers, minor prophet names are still pretty obsolete. Granted, some don't exactly roll smoothly off the tongue ("Nahum", "Habakkuk"), but others are certainly underused. My favorites: "Obadiah", "Micah", "Malachi", "Amos," "Hosea", and "Zechariah."

- "Margaret"- I think "Margaret" is lovely in general, but I adore the nickname possibilities- there's something for every personality. My very favorites are "Meg" and "Greta," but there are countless options!

- "Jeremy-" I just like it. But I'd want to nickname him "Remy" which is pretty girly sounding, so it's not a name I could use.

- "Kyle-" Common, yes. Meaningful- not to me. But I've always had a thing for this name. I don't really care for "Kylee" or "Kyler" or any of its other derivatives, but "Kyle" will always have a place in my heart.

- "Megan-" This name was much more commonly used in my generation than today, but I think it's such a nice mix of girly and cute, but still serious. I like the fact that it's a two syllable name that still sounds really short, if that makes any sense.

Movies and Names

For the most part I'm entirely content with having been raised, well, not exactly sheltered from the world, but definitely sheltered from pop culture. Blake's always asking me, "Have you see ___________?" And I'm always replying, "What do you think?" Most things worth seeing, I've seen (thanks to Blake!). But there are a lot of movies that are not even on my radar. This is a little tricky when it comes to names. For instance, I've remarked to friends before, "I think ________ is such a great boy name!" Only to have them stare at me and comment, "That's the name of the freaky kid in such and such movie." Apparently said freaky kid is such a prominent part of culture that his name is off limits if I don't want my child associated with that movie character.

So, I've been pondering how much we should or should not let popular culture dictate our naming decisions.  I think I'm much more comfortable with the idea of my kid sharing the name with a movie character than my husband is, probably since I haven't seen as many movies. This holds particularly true if the movie isn't destined to become a classic, and it's probably one you watch once and never go back to. Or, if the name isn't a very unique one ("Will" may be the name of a movie character, but it's also the name of a lot of other people. "Frodo," on the other hand...).

Is pop culture something you considered or would consider in naming your own kids?

Ultra-Girly

Maybe it's because I'm having a boy in a month, but I've been fantasizing about extremely feminine names lately. My daughter's name, Aurora, is very feminine (though she has a tomboyish nickname), and there's just something about frilly, decidedly female names that I like. Whereas I don't care for gender-neutral names, there are tons of names for girls that are not ultra-girly that I love, but this post is dedicated to those names that say girl.

Here are a few of my favorites:
- Lacey: delicate, pretty, complex, a little frilly... for some reason I love this name; I knew an unpleasant "Lacey" in middle school, and even she couldn't ruin this name for me!
- Flower names: "Begonia," "Hyacinth," "Clover," "Dahlia"...these unusual flower names beg for a bearer in a tutu.
- Celeste: Even though I think of the elephant queen in Babar, I love how simple and pretty this name is.
- Names with "l's" and "s's," or extra syllables- "Alessandra," "Jessamine," "Christabel," "Laurel," "Viviana," "Sapphira"...none of these is a huge favorite of mine, but they're all nice and feminine.
Female classics: "Charlotte," "Georgiana," "Lydia"... Timelessly girly.

Even if you abhor pink, are there any ultra-girly names you dote on?

"G" Names!

Today's letter is "G!"!
- Gemma: this name is very Britishy, in my opinion, and it's simple and sweet.
- Greta: One of my favorite nicknames for the lovely name "Margaret."
- Grace: A beautiful classic.
- Glory: I prefer this to the more dramatic "Gloria." And, "Glo" is an awesome nickname.
- Genesis: If I were cooler, I'd use this name.
- Georgiana: The P&P connection, and "Georgie" is a great short.

Moving on to boy names:
- Gideon: Just an awesome, pretty unique OT name.
- Garrett: I'm a sucker for names with two sets of double letters.
- George: Another classic.
- Gerard: Samantha R's contribution.
- Gabriel: I love the nickname "Gabe."
- Gage: A good "wild west" name that I've mentioned on here before.
- Giovanni: A nice alternative to "John."

What "G" names do you like?

An Initial Thought

Just a brief consideration of initials...

It seems obvious that parents need to at least pay some mind to the initials their child is going to end up with. Although unfortunate initials can be embarrassing, they are certainly not insurmountable. In other words, initials should not make or break a name, in my opinion. This is especially true for a baby girl, who likely will get married and change her initials anyway. Still, when it's avoidable, parents can do their kids a favor and thoughtfully provide name-orders that do not spell/represent something offensive.

"Good" Initials
Most people are fairly indifferent to their initials, in my experience. This is probably a good thing. On occasion though, I'll meet someone who loves their initials. For example, I grew up with a boy named "Andrew Benjamin C." He was thrilled to be an "ABC." Good initials do not elude to anything too specific; they are mildly amusing or clever without adding to the significance of the name itself. An exception to this is if the parents intentionally choose initials with meaning, such as naming a daughter "Sierra Alexandra Moore" after dear old great uncle Sam.

"Bad" Initials
Obviously, there are combinations of names that really should not be combined if possible. Any set of names that spell out particular three letter words, for instance, are bad ideas. Common abbreviations can be bad ideas too, like "SOS" or "TAX." With initials, the goal is not so much to come up with initials that make a child happy as much as to avoid initials that make them cringe. Much of this is personal preference; add some common sense and you're good to go!

Quirky Names with Normal Nicknames

Generally, parents choose a "normal" name and a unique nickname for their kids (if they're going the nickname route), as opposed to the other way around. For instance, "James" may be called "Jamie," or "JJ," and "Margaret" may be "Greta" or "Marti." However, an interesting twist on nicknaming is to select a more unusual first name and have a typical nickname. Some examples":

Boys:
- "Hal"- short for "Hallelujah"
- "Zeke"- short for "Ezekiel"
- "Mel"- short for "Melchizedek"

Girls:
- "Rhoda"- short for "Rhododendron"
- "Zoe"- short for "Arizona" (I actually know one!)
- "Maggie"- short for "Magdalena"

First/Last Considerations

It seems obvious that parents must pay attention to their last name before deciding on a first name for their kids, but to what extent should a surname make a difference?

Certainly it's important to avoid accidental rhyming names, like "John Swan." This goes for potential nicknames as well, like "Richard Fitch," who could very well end up a "Rich Fitch."

Less obvious than rhymes are run-on consonants, and even run-on vowels. For example, I cannot name a child a name that ends with "B," like "Abe" or "Gabe," since the ending "b" sounds runs in to the beginning "b" sound of our last name and gets lost. This means, of course, that the nice-sounding "Abraham" and "Gabriel" are not good possibilities for us. A friend of mine as a brother named "Bryant Todd." One of those poor "ts" gets completely lost! If your last name begins with a vowel, like "O'Brien," you'd be better off avoiding first names that end with a long "o" sound, like "Milo" and "Cairo."

Along with ending sounds, it's wise to consider syllables. I don't really believe that there are any fast rules for syllables (such as, a 1-syllable last name needs a 2-syllable first name)- there are always exceptions that work. Take my 2-syllable last name, for instance: my husband, myself, and my sister-in-law all share the name. One of us has a 1-syllable first, one has a 2-syllable first, and one has a 3-syllable first. They all work fine. Or what about a 1-syllable last name, like "Fox?" It could be argued that such a name should never be paired with a 1-syllable first name (Bob Fox), for example, but many of them are perfectly okay, like "Meg Fox" and "Sam Fox." "Blake Fox" doesn't work, though. So, pay no heed to rules, but try each name combination out- some will work, so just won't sound right. I like the name "Reuben," but it sounds wrong with "Bowen." It has more to do with the ending syllable sounds on both names, but clearly it doesn't have the right ring. Another 2-syllable Old Testament name, "Asher," sounds fine though. It's necessary to note not just the ending of the first name with the beginning of the last, but also the ending of the first with the ending of the last. In the "Reuben" example, "en" and "en" at the end of each does not sound right. Also, similar consonants may be a problem, like in "Violet Schmidt" and "Elena Mirna." Although, "Violet White" and "Elena Dinah" are not so awkward.

To summarize, don't be afraid to play around with any "rules" regarding first and last name combos, but don't throw all caution to the wind either. Try your first name (and any likely nicknames) out a few times, and run it by a trusted, unbiased friend if you dare.

T!

The letter is "t" and the gender is guys!
Here are my favorite masculine "t" names of the moment:

- Tobias (I love "Toby" for a nickname, even if it is a "dog" name! And "Tobias" is so distinguished!)
- Tate (Uncommon but not weird, simple and strong)
- Thatcher (Going along with the surname trend...)
- Thaddeus (Both "Tad" and "Thad" are nice nicknames)
- Trace (One of our favorite "Louis L'Amour-esque" names)
- Tanian (Short from "Dartanian-" I'd never be likely to use it myself, but I remember a baseball player named "Tanian" after the muskateer, and he totally pulled it off. It's been dear to me ever since.)

I'm probably forgetting some..."t" names tend to be more unusual, unless you stick with something really common like "Thomas." What are your favorite masculine "t" names?

"K"

First off, my sister was gracious enough to comment on my post Premeditated Naming, so if you're interested in hearing how she ended up choosing a name, check out the comments.

Today: the gender is female and the letter is K. And C. and Q. Really anything that makes a "k" sound. Here are a few of my favorite "k" names for girls:

- Cora/Coral and many of its variations (I know a "Corabelle" and a "Coralee" and think they're so lovely)
- Kate (a true classic)
- Quinn (unique but simple and feminine)
- Kayla/Kaylee (they're too common for today, but maybe in a decade or two...they're such sweet names)
- Callie (I just love this name, and I really can't put my reasoning into words. It's just a terrific name!)
- Kendra (I've gotten flak for liking this name, which some classify as either "gangster" or "loose," but I stand by my longtime love of the name anyway )

I favor well-established "k" names, especially since there are so many made up ones these days. What are some of your favorite female "k" names?

Rainy Day Names

It is monsooning here in Flagstaff, and what better way to spend a rainy, thundery afternoon than musing about weather names?

Since I am a HUGE fan of rain in general, perhaps it is no surprise that I love the name "Raine." Now, I know that I am totally breaking one of my rules by adding an "e" to the end of the name, but I really think it makes it seem more complete, and less forecasty. I also like "Rainey;" it's sort of like an alternative to "Laney," which I also like, by the way. "Raine" makes a delightful middle name, if you or your husband are not quite enough committed to it to use it for a first name. "Zinnia Raine" is one of my favorite girl names (it's hippie enough for Flagstaff or Seattle), but since the spousey isn't a fan, one of you can use it! Zinnias are big, gorgeous, poofy flowers, by the way.

Other nice weather names? Well, "Sunny" is a little dated, though it's cheerful and sweet. More modern takes are "Sunshine" and anything with "Sol" in it, like "Solara." "Stormy" and "Gusty" are unusual, but you'd better hope your daughter isn't that tumultuous! "Snow," and it's Spanish equivalent "Nieve" are not too uncommon Blake informed me of a celebrity baby horrifically named "Reignbeau," and I'm sure there are a few little "Lightnings" out there.

Whatever your weather is right now, enjoy your afternoon! Happy naming!

On Place Names

I like the idea of naming a child after a place of significance. This is an area for particular care, however...

Blake and I spent part of our first date sitting on a bench in West Seattle, enjoying the city skyline at night across Elliott Bay. I've always been fond of the name "Elliott" for a boy, and I like the fact that the name has significance for Blake and me. Plus- two sets of double letters!! But...it's not too likely that little "Elliott" would appreciate the romance behind his name. Maybe it would be different were it a daughter, but it seems cruel to burden a boy with a name with sappy connotations. Plus, "Elliott" has no good male nicknames. And I'm concerned it may go the way of "Ashley," "Lindsey," and "Taylor" and become more of a girl name.

If there's a place that is deeply special to you (and always will be), choosing a name reminiscent of the place can be extremely meaningful. For example, if your beloved grandparents were from Italy, perhaps naming a child "Romey" or "Venice" would be a fond reminder of them. I'd stay away from "Pompeii" though, since more cataclysmic images tend to come to mind than warm thoughts of the motherland. Along with that, it's best to discard places that people tend to make fun of, like "Detroit."

As long as the location in consideration doesn't have romantic associations for the parents that would potentially horrify/humiliate their offspring, and as long as there is SOME significance to the name (I think it's silly to name a kid "Brooklyn" or "Dakota" or "London" just because they're popular options), go for a place name! Some ideas:

- Biblical place names: one of my favorite girl names (I'm hesitant to write it since it will likely be the name of our next daughter) is a Biblical place name. Also, "Belen" (Bethleham in Spanish), Magdalena, Eden, Berea (my friend Aimee chose this lovely, unique name!), and Israel.

- Bodies of water, mountains, and landmarks: I grew up near Lake Meridian, and I always thought "Meridia" would make a nice name. Or I could use "Lillian," since the first lake I ever backpacked to was Lake Lillian. "Rainier" is a name I'll always love, since Mt. Rainier is the quintessential mountain, and is so emblematic of my western Washington roots. Other mountains? McKinley, Shasta, or Baker, perhaps? As far as landmark names go, why not Zion (could be a biblical name or a nod to the national park)?

- City/Country names: Well, my hometown is "Kent." It's sort of in the hood though, not really a place to pay homage to. Common choices include: "Paris," "Kenya," the previously mentioned "London," "Dakota," and "Brooklyn," and "India." Again, I beseech you to only pick a city/country name for your baby if you have some sort of connection to the place, not just because you like the way it sounds. At the same time, you don't want a name that you have too much connection to (naming our next child "Flagstaff" would be pretty ridiculous).

In summary, a place name can be a terrific, unique, and meaningful moniker for your child. Just consider any weird connotations the name may evoke, and analyze your motive in using the name. After all, you want your child to love his name, and hopefully the place it honors as well. 

Musings

The last couple weeks I've been caught up in a name that's a little unusual for me- kind of trendy, kind of gangster, but entirely lovely: "Mahalia." Mahalia is Hebrew (hence the trendiness- Hebrew names are quite popular right now) and means "Tenderness," which is very sweet. I can't imagine using the name myself, but someone should, because it would make me happy. If you happen to already have a daughter named, say, Kale'a, for example (ahem, Laura), "Mahalia" would make a very appropriate sibling name!

Other names on my radar:
"Laurel-" A lovely, feminine name suggested by a friend as an alternative to the very popular "Lauren."
"Gage/Gauge-" I have a weakness for manly, old west names. Blake trained in Phoenix last week with a Gage from Texas (figures)- named for the shotgun, of course!
"William-" It's my granddad's birthday today. He's a "Bill," and though I'm more partial to "Will" as a nickname for "William," it's a name you can't go wrong with. Unless your last name is Williams or something. Or the baby is a girl.

Premeditated Naming

Blake and I are very much of the "have the name ready long before the baby arrives" mindset. It never even really occurred to me that "Aurora" might not be an "Aurora." Of course she would! If she wasn't, than she could become one. In fact, we have our son's name all set, just waiting for his October arrival. What if he doesn't look like a __________? Whatever, he'll be all nice and pink and wrinkly, and ___________ will suit him just fine.

However, I realize many people take a different, more diplomatic approach at the hospital/birthing center/home: have some names in mind, but go in with no expectations. For instance, my sister (who's baby girl is due any day) and her husband have three full names selected. They plan on seeing their daughter before deciding on one. Lindsay hopes they'll take one look and just know, but she's practical enough to know this does not always happen. Their strategy? They have one name they classify as very "delicate and beautiful, quite feminine," which they'll use if she has very fine, pretty features. The next name is reserved for a "cute, chubby, smooshy" baby. And the last? Well, they just decided on the last a week or two ago, mainly because Lindsay strongly felt they should go in with three names, not two. The last is their least favorite, they admit, but they like the meaning of it the best. Supposedly if the other two names seem not to fit, this last will work for a wide variety of babies. I'm most partial to their smooshy name myself, but all three are lovely, and I can't wait to find out who she is!

I also know of several people who did indeed go to the hospital etc. with a name all good and chosen, only to cast eyes upon their offspring and know instantly that the name would never do.

Another option is having no idea whatsoever what to name the baby, until two days after its birth you have to sign the birth certificate before leaving the hospital, so you grudgingly agree to your husband's favorite name, only to regret it for the next two weeks before finally accepting it (I'm not naming names here...).

Ultimately this leads to the much-pondered question, "does the name grow to suit the person or the person suit the name?" That is a discussion for another day.

Certainly there is no right or wrong method here, and I'm curious as to your thoughts: Be set on a name prior to the birth, have several options, or wing it?

Naming Subsequent Babies: Part 3

Here are some final (for now) thoughts on naming subsequent babies. I'll add more to this series on occasion, but must move on!

---One way to end up with names that "go" together is to select names from the same era. This allows for a pretty broad range of names, while still providing some continuity. By "era," I don't necessarily mean a specific year or two, more than names that give the same vibe. For instance, I have a friend with two little girls, the first named "Claire" and the second named "Audrey." Both names have a kind of retro, sweet sound to them. The parents are expecting their third child, and they'll likely want to stay away from modern, trendy names that lack the whimsy of their first two names. Names that evoke the same vibe? Perhaps: Phoebe, Gemma, Lucy, Pearl, Sadie. For a boy, they'd want to keep the retro-sense, but avoid the sweetness. Something well established, recognizable but not too common would fit the bill: Todd, Victor, Simon, Quinton, Lucas, Thaddeus, or Winston would be some examples.

---Chatting with a friend yesterday, we discussed a less-themey take on a theme: keep a consistent sound to begin the names, but not necessarily with the same letters. This friend has two sons (Kiefer and Cooper). Were they to have a third child, a fun way to keep the "k" sound would be going with a "qu" name: "Quinton" or "Quincey" for a boy, or perhaps "Quinn" for a little girl.

---One friend commented on an earlier post that the only thing connecting their potential baby names is that they are all unusual. Really, this is an entirely acceptable approach to naming, and obscurity is as a good a connection as anything. As long as Siren, River Rock, and Caesar don't have a little brother named "John," people are unlikely to grumble that their names don't go together (though they're likely to find other reasons to grumble).

---Finally, spend some time rattling off names to see how they flow together. If your oldest child is "Shane" and you're planning on naming your new baby "Erin" or "Aaron," practice saying, "My kids, Shane and Erin." To me, "Shane and Erin" doesn't flow well- it's too full of "n's" and is awkwardly rhythmically. A better sounding combination would be "Shane and Olivia," or "Shane and Dierdre." That doesn't mean Shane shouldn't have a little sister Erin, it's just a word of caution.

Since for the next four months I'm still the mom of just one little one, what are your experiences with naming siblings? What factors did you consider or disregard? Any regrets?

Naming Subsequent Babies: Part 2

Themes, of course, are not the only way to have a bit of continuity among sibling names. Another factor to consider is the sound of the names together. The goal, of course, is not to necessarily find names that sound "good" together so much as to avoid names that clearly sound BAD. Many names will sound just fine with when paired with the name of your first child, but undoubtedly you'll come across a few options that will make you cringe. Examples?

Aurora and: Flora (Rhyming is practically never a good idea); Doria (Too many "r's" and similar vowel sounds); Kay (very short and masculine next to the flowery "Aurora")

Rory and: Tori, Laurie, Corrie, etc. (See above); Riordan; Riley (Too similar)

Evan and: Evangeline (Seems obvious that one name should not contain the entirety of another); Alvin; Ivan (Share many similar sounds); Laban (I don't know why you'd name your kid after this guy, but especially don't do it if you already have one named "Evan.")

Abigail and: Gabrielle (The chance of having an "Abby" and a "Gabby" is just too high); Able (Imagine sputtering "Abigail" and "Able" if you're upset..."Ablegail!"

Able and: Cain (Good twin, bad twin. Good idea? Bad idea!!)

Michelle and: Barack (Naming siblings after husbands and wives is really, really weird to me.)

You get the point. Consider any potential sibling-related ramifications before bestowing a name on your second child, considering the melodiousness of the names (rhyming being too melodious) and any weird associations with the name of your first child.

Next time: Naming Subsequent Babies: Part 3!

Naming Subsequent Babies

When naming your first child, the sky's the limit. When more babies come, however, the name chosen for the first limits the options for its siblings.

Now that Blake and are expecting number 2 (whom we affectionately refer to as "Once," (Ohn-say), which is "11" in Spanish. We jokingly were planning to have an 11-11-11 baby, thus the nickname.), we've had to give much thought to sibling names. There's much to consider, and this will be only one of multiple posts on the topic.

Today I'd like to address the theme of themes. some parents maintain a consistent theme for all of their children. Common themes include Biblical names, flower names, names that all begin with the same letter (usually "J" for some reason), family names, and virtue names, but the options are endless. Were Blake and I to choose a theme (based off the name of our first child), some options could be:

- More obscure nature names-"Aurora" can be connected to the Aurora Borealis; sibling name possibilities: Bay, Willow, Meadow (which I love, incidentally), Rio/River
- Disney names. Seriously, people ask. Sibling name possibilities: Pocahontas? Gaston?
- "A" names: Arthur, Andrew, Alexandra, Alice
- "A B C D etc." names, except we've already ruled out all "B" names, so that breaks the pattern pretty quick. Sibling names: Belinda, Chad, Dietrich, Elisa, etc.
- Heavenly names, like: Luna, Starr, Sunny
- Spanish or Latin names- "Aurora" is a fairly common name in Spanish. Sibling names: Diego (love it!), Caterina, Magdalena, Julio

There are some risks with opting to stick with a theme, though. For instance, inspiration could run out before the babies do. Imagine how little "Howie" would feel in a family of "Jesse, Jordan, Jamie, and Jill." Overzealous parents can pick a theme that turns out to provide few options, like "mountains." Where does one go after "Everest" and "Rainier?" Or, the parents of little girls might fall in love with the free spirit femininity of flower names, only to have a SON after "Dahlia," "Violet," and "Jasmine." "Thistle" and "Snapdragon" are not exactly manly names. Finally, a couple could absolutely fall in love with a name outside the theme, but cannot use it because it deviates from the rest of the kids. And, of course, you may get some snickers (not the candy bar), if you get too themey, though I don't think you should let that stop you!

Despite all this, I am not anti-theme. I think name themes can be an effective way to create a little unity amongst the children, and, if done appropriately, they can be clever and cute. Just exercise caution, because the line between cute and obnoxious is pretty thin, as is that between clever and absurd.

Whether or not you choose a theme to carry throughout your baby names, sibling names must "go" together in some way. "Rebekah" and "Martha" should not have a sister named "Ashlynn," though "Rochelle" and "Marlee" could.

More about sibling names next time!

Combo-Names

A friend recently asked me my take on combo-names (combining parts of two or more names to come up with a new one). You probably won't be surprised to hear that I advise great caution when considering this concept. Many people see this as a terrific way to dodge the, "do we name her after your mom or mine?" question.
Thus, names like "Janeilica," a creative combination of "Janelle" and "Angelica" are born. Yikes. Blake and I had jokingly said that we'd give a baby girl the name "Raelynn," which happens to be a real name, after both of our mothers' middle names, "Rae" and "Lynn." But seeing as "Raelynn" is a little to mountain mama for our taste, it was never a serious possibility. Other combinations of their first names, "Diana" and "Marisa" lead to such humorous monikers as "Darisa," "Marana," and "Marisana." No, any baby of ours would be named after one person only, or none at all. However, I am in favor of the idea if the combo-name is indeed a real, respectable name (other than Raelynn!). For instance, the friend that inquired about this topic is named Aimee, and her husband is Bram. Put them together and you get "Abram!" While I probably wouldn't name a kid "Abram," it's a legitimate name, and clearly incorporates both of the parents.

So, if the idea of combo names intrigues you, go ahead an experiment. Just don't get too excited if the best you can come up with is "Janelica."

Y's and I's

Y's are girly. I's are manly. The end.
Well, not quite. There are instances where Y's can be perfectly masculine, such as when they fall at the end of a name, a la "Avery." Or if a male name traditionally has a Y in it, like "Bryce." But when parents eager to "customize" their son's name think that pulling a Y-for-I switch is a good idea, think again. "Bryan" is not as manly as "Brian." "Ryley" looks much girlier than "Riley." And lets not forget names like "Jayson," "Hayden," and "Shayne," all of which are a bit more feminine that their Y-less counterparts.

Now, to address I's. Whereas I's tend to be more guyish in the middle of a world, Y's decidedly rule the end of a name. "Rory" works fine for a boy or a girl (including my own daughter!), but "Rori" really should only be considered for a female. A man named "Cody" or "Brady" can rest assured that their name will not be mistaken for a girl's (at least right now), but it's a little more iffy with "Codi" and "Bradi." Parents seriously do this to their sons!! I could say it a thousand times: if you want your child to have a unique name, pick a unique name- don't mess with the spelling on a name already established!

In summary, when considering your son's name: I's in the middle, Y's at the end.

A Sad Reality

I have lots of friends having babies. It's really a very fun stage of life to be in. But being surrounded by all this baby excitement has made me resigned to a sad but seemingly quite true fact: expecting parents are unlikely to select a name that has been recommended to them by good willed outsiders. Now, I don't have any data to back this up. Maybe I'm wrong and actually, lots of couples choose a name provided to them buy a family member or friend. But I don't think so- not in my experience, anyway. As enticing as it is to barrage parents-to-be with name suggestion after glorious name suggestion, and while they may smile and seem to ponder such names (they may not- they may scowl and request you stop already), deep down inside parents have an aversion to suggested names. They want to come up with their name all alone. As I was considering this a couple weeks ago, it dawned on me that I would be highly unlikely to choose a name mentioned by anyone other than my husband or myself. Maybe that's because I want Blake and I to bear the full weight of the naming responsibility, and I don't want an outsider (even a very close relative) to secretly be pleased with themselves for promoting a chosen name. Sure, that's silly, but I really want our names to be products of Blake and me, our ingenuity and discretion. Someone suggesting a specific names deadens it slightly to me, sadly.

Now, there are ways around this. For instance, a name listed among others in a category but without specific attention drawn to it can still work. Say I'm sitting with a bunch of girl friends and I mention that I'm looking for an Old Testament boy's name. My friends can start listing names: "Noah, Shadrach, David, Samuel, Joseph, Obadiah, Malachi," and I could latch onto one of those names. But as soon as one of the girls starts really pushing one of them: "Obadiah Bowen sounds so good- you can call him Obie, and it's so unusual, you should totally use it!" That name is not really a possibility for me anymore. So, one way to subtly suggest a name to a friend is slipping it into a list and not dwelling on it.

Other methods of unobvious name persuasion are giving the mom or dad a book to read that has a character with the name, sending them newspaper articles with the name, mentioning someone you know with the name, drawing attention to an historical person off offhandedly who went by the name, and so on. Just make sure the associations with the name are positive! That way, if the couple is going to be intrigued by the name, it will be as if they discovered it on their own. And if it doesn't jump out at them, they wouldn't have chosen it anyway.

Beyond Patrick and Erin

In honor of St. Patrick's Day (a holiday that leaves me conflicted), I present you with the top Irish baby names (in 2002):

Girls:

Sarah
Aoife
Ciara
Emma
Chloe
Amy
Katie
Niamh
Sophie
Lauren

Boys:

Jack
Sean
Adam
Conor
James
Daniel
Cian
Michael
David
Luke

Month Musings

I was having a name conversation with some friends last night and among the topics was "month names." Month names, of course, are April, May (Mae), June, and August. I suppose "January" should be included too, though I think that's about it. There's nothing really wrong with month names, but my question is this: when do you use them? Rory was born in June, and I suppose I could have named her June, but it just seems pretty silly to name a baby after the month they were born (as if you or she would forget!), sort of inline with naming them after the city of their conception. But at the same time, it seems strange to give a kid a month name if they weren't born in that month: "Hi, I'm April, nice to meet you." "Oh, is your birthday in April too?" "No, October."

I think month names work if you're naming the child after the month someone significant was born, like a grandparent or famous person, or perhaps the month of a famous historical event. Also, if it's a family name (Great Uncle August), it is appropriate. Finally, if you like the name and don't mind the questions, go for it (just be aware that they may be made fun of in other languages where they don't name their kids "April").

Thoughts on month names?

The Virtues of Virtue Names

At least one baby name trend has been popular for, well, ever: virtue names. A little “Gracie” will never be ostracized because of her name, nor will “Hope” or “Faith.”Some of the more uncommon virtue names, such as “Honor,” “Charity,” “Mercy,” and “Justice” may cause someone to take pause, but generally they are considered acceptable and worthy. Today I am musing about how virtue babies get their names- can you look at a baby girl and know that she is full of grace? Can you tell that a little “Hope” is not going to be a pessimist? Or, do you give a baby a virtue name as a prayer? If his name is “Justice,” maybe as a kid he’ll always share with his siblings and he’ll grow up to be a lawyer. Maybe “Joy” will delight people everywhere she goes and radiate God’s love through her demeanor.

But what if the opposite is true? What if “Grace” is a boor, and “Honor” is rebellious? I (seriously) knew a girl named “Chastity” in high school. Yes, the meaning is noble, but what a moniker to slap a kid with! And no, by all appearances she did not live up to her name- it was kind of an irony, unfortunately. On the other hand, my parents named me Brittany Joy because they were so thrilled to have a daughter and knew I would bring them great joy. I tell you, in my moments of adolescent angst when I was making their lives miserable, it would stick in my mind that I was supposed to be their Joy, and it was pretty convicting.

In general I’m a fan of virtue names (except perhaps “Chastity”), especially for middle names. So often there is a story behind them (I wonder how many “Hopes” were born on September 11, 2001?), and they represent a parent’s most fervent wishes for his or her child. I think that if the parents continually tell their children the story of their names, and pray the names over them and claim them for their family, the virtue can indeed become a part of them; even if it doesn’t come naturally, it can be their life long quest to achieve it. Therefore, there’s little risk of ending up with a cruel “Justice” or a contentious “Harmony.”

          What do you think about virtue names? Do you have one? Plan to use one?

Cross-Culture Name Theft

I was fifteen when I spent my first month in Peru. Everything in the country is alluring, from the mist-shrouded peaks of the Andes to the grimy streets of Lima. I will never forget that summer- the music, the kids, the smells. And the names. There's something enthralling about Spanish names, a bit of grit and romance in the trilled Rs and pure vowel sounds. I fell hard for the name Milagros. Milagros was one of our translators. She was beautiful and smart and kind, and she made an effort to befriend the loud but earnest American teenagers. We all thought she was amazing, and I added "Milagros" (me-LAH-gros) to the very top of my name list. I still think it is one of the most beautiful names in the world, but there will probably never be a little "Mila Bowen" running around, simply because our babies will tend towards whiteness and I don't want their names to confuse people.

I've noticed, however, that more and more in the past years, language is limiting less and less the names parents are considering for their babies. I know several Caucasians so enamored with foreign language names that they're shrugging their shoulders at any potential raised eyebrows and naming their kids Nikolai and Diego. Oh Diego. Is there any name more heroic and romantic than Diego, said in a low, accented voice? Apparently others agree with me, because I've heard of several little white baby Diegos, just by word of mouth. More power to them.

What do you think? Are culture and language irrelevant as far as names go? Do you have a favorite foreign name that you're trying to win your spouse over to?

Aurora Whitney

You may be wondering something. I understand why. How did I, a woman so keenly aware of the weight of the burden of choice, who revels in the responsibility and gives names with gusto but never haste, decide on a name for my daughter? Especially with a husband who claimed equal say (not entirely unreasonably) in the matter?

Well, actually it was pretty easy. We do subscribe to the “see the baby before you decide on a name” thought; since babies all look pretty similar to us, it just doesn’t seem like getting a look at a wrinkly red face would provide too much insight (we may be wrong). So, long before we were engaged we got married we became pregnant we found out the gender, we had her name selected. 

As far as middle names go, I really wanted our first to be named after his or her dad, and “Whitney” happens to be my beloved’s middle name. I fell in love with “Aurora” in high school, and my zeal never waned. No, she’s not named after the northern lights, though we’d rather attribute it to the aurora borealis than to Sleeping Beauty (who names their kid after a Disney princess anyway?). We consider it a bit unusual without being bizarre, and it allows for the adorable nickname “Rory,” which we use quite a bit (“Aurora” is very feminine where as “Rory” is a little more cute and playful). Also, if Rory ends up having an “R” speech impairment, she can introduce herself as “Awowa” or “Wowy” which will be hilarious, as long as she outgrows it eventually. Finally, in Latin and all Latin-based languages, Aurora means “the dawn,” and it’s a fairly common name in Spanish (“Brittany” does not translate AT ALL so I wanted to allow for the fact that our baby girl may want to learn another language one day, and it would be nice if speakers of the language could pronounce her name).

Really that’s all there is to Rory’s name story: there was a name, we liked it, it has nicknames, and it translates to Spanish. And sure enough, she came out (neither wrinkled nor red) and wouldja know it- she looked just like an Aurora.

Aurora and her daddy, just born

Rory at seven months

A Hound and his Name

Certainly it's ideal, when naming someone, to get a glimpse of her personality first, so you can tell if you're dealing with a Claire or a Chloe. Sometimes though, that is simply impossible, and one must employ other means of arriving at an appropriate name.

Meet Lindsay and Matt. Lindsay is my sister, and Matt is her husband. They live in the beautifully dreary Puget Sound region (Puget (pew-jet) being, incidentally, rather ugly sounding) of western Washington, and they are sensible people: they keep a budget and like breakfast for dinner. They're also expecting their first baby in June. However, at the moment we're not concerned with the enticing question of what they'll name their little offspring; first, there is another member of the family we must consider.

Meet Jetson. Jetson is not at all sensible. He chews up potholders and sings "Roooo! Roooo!" quite noisily. He is an eighty pound coon hound from rural Idaho ("rural Idaho" is kind of redundant) whom Lindsay fell in love with via the animal shelter website. Regretfully Jetson has issues with his anal glands, so much so that his veterinarian is calling in a specialist to operate on them (which of course leads me to wonder how one's specialty becomes dog anal glands). The shelter staff had named him "Butch," which Linds and Matt knew was far too unsophisticated for such a (they were sure) deep and complex spirit. Thus began the quest for the perfect name for their noble beast. How did they land on Jetson (do you get the pun- land and jet)? Let's consider the process.

To begin with, Lindsay and Matt did not choose a name before the animal. This is significant, as it is not unusual (indeed, I often do this) to have a name in mind first. When Lindsay found herself back home in Puyallup with her seemingly amiable yet still enigmatic new pooch, she had do come up with something other than "Butch" that was not altogether different sounding (to ease the transition for him). At one point she and Matt tossed around the name "Jet." Jet soon evolved to "Jetson," and over the next few days they kept coming back to it. Lindsay explained that "Jetson is a sleek name, and he is a very sleek dog." The fact that his coat is jet black did not escape them either.

Perhaps you recognize the name as that of a famous futuristic cartoon family, but Lindsay assures that it's coincidental. They chose the name because it is unique (though they have heard of a couple other canine "Jetsons") and it tends naturally to the pleasant nicknames of "Jet" and "Jetty" (a must in my family of nicknamers). Thus Jetson was named.

Weeks after the fact, as his personality (or would it be poochanality) was made known, my sister and brother-in-law were convinced they had chosen well: "Jetson is a strong name, not for pansies." Lindsay remarked. Though (at times disastrously) boisterous and playful, Jetson is first and foremost devoted to his people. He is "droopy and sleepy" (Lindsay calls him "Honey Bunches" at such moments), but is also "prancy and jolly." Certainly not just any name would suit the big sock-stealing fellow; Linday and Matt sized him up, and it fits him well.

Ageless Names

Like the best cheeses, a good name ages well, and will suit its bearer in every stage of his or her life. It's equally strange (for me at least) to picture a baby Elmer toddling around as it is to envision a dignified, elderly Skyler (though it is a lovely name). Of course, in eighty years the earth could be teeming with senile Skylers, and there could be three Elmers in every kindergarten class, but at this moment those names would cause me to pause and consider before imposing them on my helpless infant.

So how do you know that a name will age well? To start with, names that tend not to age well are generally either ridiculous to begin with (think "Moxie" or "Cloud") or names that come seemingly out of nowhere (meaning they have little history and often are inspired by popular culture), gain various degrees of popularity, and then fade quickly away (like "Miley"). On the other hand, a name that has been around for at least a couple decades (sorry, Nevaeh) is more likely to grow with a child, even if it at no point is a “popular” name, especially if a handful of people in each generation use it (for example, “Tucker”).

Another tip: choosing a name with age-appropriate nicknames (people tend to love or hate nicknames- “I named her that so no one could give her a nickname!” or “There are a dozen nicknames he can choose from!” I am a nickname lover). A couple examples: the name “James” can easily become Jamie, Jimmy, or Jim, and “Christina” turns into Chrissy, Chris, Tina, Christine, etc. “Elizabeth” is another classic example, with nicknames for every personality and stage in life. In naming our daughter, Aurora, Blake and I considered that while Aurora is very feminine, her nickname, Rory, is more cute and playful. As her little personality comes out more and more, we’ll see what we end up calling her most.  

                The last thought for today is this: many names from the Bible are always in style, and there are lots of options other than “Mary” (though Mary, Maria, and Marie are all lovely names). For instance, “Samuel” is a name that will never been obscure, though it probably will rarely be top ten. It has nice nickname options and it’s easy to imagine a Samuel as President of the United States or as a mechanic. Even more unusual Bible names like “Eden,” “Joelle,” and “Asher” will be readily recognized throughout the child’s life (just make sure you know the story of whichever name you choose so your sweet baby girl doesn’t end up with the beautiful but unfortunate name “Jezebel”).

                To sum it all up, if you’d like a name that will suit your little one in every stage of his life, run it through these different scenarios: Will little  ___________ ‘s substitute teachers butcher his name for the first eighteen years of his life? Can you imagine a minister saying his name at the altar when he is about to be married ("Do you, Percy, take this woman…")? Is the name as suitable for the president of a country or corporation as it is an auto salesman or a volcanologist? Can you imagine your grandparents with that name?

                What are two of my all time favorite ageless names? Sarah and David. You simply can’t go wrong with Sarah and David.

On the Importance of Vowels

A couple of years ago my inlaws received a lovely birth announcement from the elated parents of a new baby girl. However, the baby's name was misspelled. Only not really.

Peytn. That's how they spell their daughter's name. PEYTN. P-E-Y-T-N. Maybe you're thinking what we were thinking. Where's the last vowel??? Granted, it's spelled just like we Americans pronounce it, but I can't help but feel bad for a girl who is going to spend her whole life enduring the question, "What's the vowel that goes between the T and the N?"  Really, any of our vowels would have allowed for the same pronunciation: Peytan, Peyten, Peytin, Peyton, Peytun. Or couldn't they have just stuck the pseudo-vowel Y in there to make it easier on the girl? "Peytyn" is still a name with issues, but at least it's got two clear syllables instead of one and a stutter!

Rarely does our modern quest for individuality have such tragic results. Peytn.

Worth the Wait

My good friend Laura and her husband became parents to just the prettiest baby girl last Saturday (at noon on the dot, on their due date, which is appropriate if you know them). They chose a beautiful, unique name for their daughter, and it was a very intentional name, not one decided on a whim or a flight of fancy. But Laura loves to torture, and she did not tell a single person the chosen name until the birthday.  This, of course, drove me near to insanity, and I tell you, nine months of suspense is a long time. But, it was worth the wait, just like the little cutie pie herself. Welcome to the world, Kale'a (pronounced Kalaya) Amariah! Here's an excerpt from her mama's blog:

"Kale'a means “joy” in Hawaiian. Amariah means “given/promised by God” in Hebrew. Taken together our daughter's name means “joy given by God” or “joy promised by God”."

With a name like that, little Kale'a is off to an auspicious start! And, if I had written, "little Kale'a's off to an auspicious start" instead, she'd have two!!! apostrophes in her name, which is just almost too awesome for words!

He Who Owns a Ship

There is an old Norwegian proverb that says, "He who owns a ship should give it a name." And I say, "Yes."

Names have been one of my passions since before I can remember (seriously, I bought myself my first book at age seven, and it is a baby name book that I still like to peruse). All of my dolls and stuffed animals had appropriate, thoughtful names (no teddy bears named "Teddy," unless it was for irony). In my tweens, I'd carry a little notebook with me everywhere, and it contained list upon list of my favorite names. Now that I'm married and my husband and I are growing our family, I can't deny that one of my favorite things in the world is the privilege of getting to give a NAME to a REAL person! Such pressure! Such responsibility! Such giddy joy! Proverbs 22:1 begins,  "A good name is more desirable than great riches" (yes, I know that it's referring one's reputation, but still!). Thus, it should be a quest of all humans with naming power to seek out good names!

My interest in names does not stop at baby humans. I believe that animals, vehicles, plants, computers, and anything else can all benefit from an apt appellation. I'd consider myself an expert on names if it weren't impossible to be an expert on something so subjective (if they had a nomenclature major in college, I would get my masters in it. But I think the closest thing is marketing).

The purpose of this blog is to allow me to gush and glower over names that strike me: beautiful, glorious names, hideous names that make me want to rip my hair out, names that make me go, "hmmmm," and names that fall into none of those categories. The obvious problem with such a blog is that every name is liked by somebody, and I don't like offending people (I'm a peace loving middle child). So, if I mock your favorite moniker, I apologize now and do not intend it to be a personal attack against you. Really, I'm sorry!

Oh, and this blog will not be limited to baby names (I've been known to turn up my nose at car names before: the Oldsmobile Silhouette? Really?!??!).


So join me on this journey of discovery and expression, and feel welcome to leave your own comments, critiques, and suggestions along the way!